Reality Check


Mom is back from hospital, and physically she is much improved. No more fever and no more falls. But that’s about it. She isn’t physically up to where she was a few months ago, and mentally, her dementia seems to be progressing.

We could almost see the Words fade and disappear. We sense the Meanings of words shape-shifting.

She has forgotten her birth date. She can no longer sign her name because she cannot grasp the order of her first, middle and last name. She has definitely forgotten her age – she used to be able to name the decade, but now she is completely off. Or maybe she no longer has any sense of numbers.

She is poetic, though. “The Rain falls like a Lump from the Sky”.

She gets up in the morning, and goes to bed at night. I remind myself to be grateful for that! Enjoy this while it lasts.

She can still make her breakfast, but she often has no appetite, and throws it away. She eats very little now, but because she is so sedentary, she is not losing weight.

And we? We are mostly in denial. Surely these changes are reversible? If not completely, then somewhat. We will step up the exercises, and stimulate the neurons. Grow, grow! Make new connections! Then maybe the Words will be back.

Mom is still Mom. She knows who she is, and she knows who we are.

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22 thoughts on “Reality Check”

  1. It has been said that “individuals don’t get Alzheimer’s, families get Alzheimer’s” because of the profound effect of the disease on all members of the family. It is heart breaking, which comes across in your post.

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  2. The hospital stay certainly contributed to her confusion and change of condition. Just being in a strange environment would do that; add to that her physical/medical condition, the response is understandably a stronger one. “This too shall pass,” but if it doesn’t, I have all the confidence in the world that you and your family will adjust admirably.

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  3. Hospitals do seem to increase the confusion in people with dementia. Dad always took a downward turn in hospital. He came back after he was home but never quite as he had been before. I’m glad she still knows she is mum and knows you. I’m thinking of you.

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  4. This sounds very familiar to me. It’s human to be in denial. We need to have hope or we would drown. I’m glad that your mum is home and that you have this time with her. Hang in and make the most of her, treasure her every day x

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  5. I agree completely with your closing thoughts…”mom is still mom…” it seems like so many people want to forget that their loved one is still there…and in fact, I think they sense more, not less…you will have her smiles forever. Love to you, Hallie

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  6. I agree with you. Mom, mine and yours and others, still know who they are and how they feel and they remember within their being, how they have been treated. We can love them and they will feel and know the love, even when they don’t remember who you are.

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