Mom is Back!


Yes, mom is back!

I had a few weeks respite from being a caregiver and mom is back! (Click here for the post about mom flying off).

Thank goodness she is back safely and well. She seems more alert and chatty and comfortable. She must have had a good break too!

Despite knowing her diagnosis, my sibs packed her off to travel by herself. Both times at the transit airport she got “lost”. She was supposed to have someone bring her from one plane to the connecting flight. We don’t know if she wandered off before the minder arrived, or whether she started off by herself because nobody came for her.

She told me – I took a train to the next terminal, and was the first to arrive there. Nobody else was around, but a man was there and told me to stay there and wait at the counter. After waiting a long while, someone came to bring me onto the plane. Everybody was already seated on the plane. Only my seat was empty. After I sat down, then only the plane could take off.

A few days after returning home, she became quiet and vague again. I felt puzzled and wondered whether my home environment was bad for her. A couple of days later I discovered the cause when I called home from work to chat with my home help. I asked if my mother was taking her medicines on time, and she told me that all is fine, and my mother told her she no longer needs the skin patch.

The skin patch! That’s the medicine for Alzheimer’s that got my mother talking again after a long silence. The daily skin patch was started in November last year, and mom never once remembered that she had it on or that it needed to be changed. Immediately, I asked my helper to put one on mom.

Ah, mom is back. She still has dementia. She can still fool the gullible.

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19 thoughts on “Mom is Back!”

  1. My mother used to say, “God helps fools and little children,” meaning that in a world that we often think of as high risk, there exists those safe passages for which we are grateful.

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  2. I am so glad your mom had a wonderful time AND that you got to have a break. On her returning to “quiet and vague”, while I am certain the replacement of the patch will help, you may also be experiencing a bit of the rallying effect also. It’s like all the new experiences and stimulation create a surge (think solar flare of the sun) but the effect wears off shortly after they return. It is wonderful to behold when it rises and sad sometimes when it dissipates. I hope you will not see it as anything wrong with all the wonderful care that you provide and ensure. You are an incredible person who is generous with her love. Blessings to you and your mom. Beth

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Beth. She is rather tired and still jet-lagged days after her return. But I also find her more aware of the world around her, and better at paying attention to what’s going on, overall. Hope this rallying effect lasts.

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  3. I hope every ones battery is recharged. Sending her off by herself? Oh dear…. Glad you two are back together and yes, they can have moments where they can fool those who don’t know the full story. My mother used to be very good at that in the early stages. Drove me nuts! 🙂

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    1. Yes, batteries are certainly recharged. Also notice everyone is trying to set new terms to replace those they didn’t like before. All are adjusting very slightly, and nicely… yes…

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  4. I am in the early stages of care giving and I learn so much from your blog and the comments. Seems like there is an endless check list and yet not everything clicks. Am glad mom is back…safely.

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    1. It is a difficult road, but my siblings love mom very much and I must say, do try their best. At this point, we are all mostly grateful for each other’s help and support, though we don’t always agree on what is required.

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  5. Our mom is at the stage where she cannot travel, even locally, by herself. The rally is an bewildering pattern we’ve seen many times. It is a glimpse of warm sunshine when it happens, though!

    Very much enjoyed your post!

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    1. Yes, a good break. Also allowed us all to refresh how we relate to each other.
      On the medicine, I believe mom honestly cannot remember it. Because she also has difficulty trusting others such as non-family members, she couldn’t say she can’t remember, and made something up instead.

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  6. Yes, they are good at fooling even family! I now realize my mom was doing that for quite a while. We were blessed to find an assisted living facility for her the end of last summer. The staff is wonderful. She seems happier there. I think it’s because people are around all the time. She lives so far away from me. That’s been a challenge – for me, not her. She has no idea. I guess that’s the good side. Glad for the good outcome of your moms adventure.

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    1. Thanks.
      I visited an assisted living facility here too, and found the people living there were truly enjoying each other’s company. But the time isn’t right to bring this up. It is hard enough to get mom to agree to go to a daycare centre for the company and stimulation it provides. “I don’t need it, I’m fine” is her refrain.

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