It is too easy to think about what my mom cannot do anymore. Make a list, and lament. But, there’s much to be grateful for. For one thing, how mom is so cheerful in the mornings. The following is a typical morning:
She wakes herself up, anytime between 6.30am and 8am. Goes to the bathroom. Folds her blanket up.
Makes her bed and changes her clothes. Cleans the floor with a wet rag. Switches on the TV.
Hum a little tune.
A special effort to greet me, singing, “Good Morning!” (She doesn’t hear me if she doesn’t see me, but when she sees me, she greets me).
Then she gets her own breakfast.
Makes a cup of tea. With too much sugar, I think. The sugar runs out faster these days. It’s okay.
Gets a large plate, and makes a sandwich with butter and kaya. Cuts up her sandwich into 9 squares. I’ve stopped asking her why. It’s okay.
And she savours her sweet breakfast.
It’s a good morning. It will be a good day!
Dementia, Caregiving and Life in General 
how sweet
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She is more so nowadays. 🙂
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I’m happy for you and your mom. Has she always hummed? My mom hums now but never did before. On my last visit, while driving her back to the assisted living facility she hummed the same four notes over for 10 minutes, it seemed. Very contentedly. Just one small sign she is changing. She is still cheerful and for that I’m grateful.
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She has always hummed a bit. Now when at a loss for the right word she sometimes hums as she mimes out the word.
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Simple and profound, in a way. The small essences of life.
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It’s just a record of what she does now. It will change I expect.
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I’m sure it will. My mother noted the essence of my father in the last words he retained: “Thank you” and “Yes, please”.
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Ah… I see what you mean
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Focus on what she can still do; go with it and enjoy. But the sweet taste bud is the one they will hold onto the longest when others begin to fade.
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Didn’t know that about the sweet taste buds. Thanks.
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awww…..I love how you wrote this–simple and good. It’s nice that you allow your mom to do what she can, and this gives her dignity. I think you must be a lovely daughter.
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Awww… you are sooo sweet! thank you.
Yes, I do try to let her do everything she can, including wash the dishes.
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I love this post! And yes, we must stop asking why. It’s okay.
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Thanks!
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Just started reading your blogs, love them. Will finish the rest when I get home tonight. I learned, after looking after my Mum, then my husband when he became ill with cancer, that getting my feelings down on paper, (or laptop) helped tremendously.
Am thinking of you. xx
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Thanks. Will read more of your very interesting blog and write more. Hugs.
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I deeply admire your strength and your love for your mother. She is very lucky. In this post I can see that you are too. You are strong and able to look beyond what has been taken.
I need to reflect on that thank you for this….
Peace, Jen
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Thanks, Jen. The word for my mom is “stoic”. She always believes in doing the right thing, and what will happen will happen. We have never spoken of her dementia though.
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