Weekday Lunch

I took off mid-day from WFH (work-from-home) to meet a friend over lunch. It was good to catch up over a somewhat luxurious and langurous meal. I think it would have been more relaxing if the service hadn’t taken so long, and if I didn’t have a post-lunch meeting to get back to.

Anyway I had the paccheri with crab which was really rather good. Since I forgot to take a picture of the food, here is a snapshot of the menu.

I learned that 2 ex-colleagues had recently passed away, both younger than me. One had cancer, the other passed suddenly in her sleep and hence it was totally unexpected. I wasn’t close to either of them, and so I was hearing new things about them.

All in all, the news was a poignant reminder that we never know how long we have. It is so easy to get caught up in the business of getting through each day and missing the bigger picture. It also brought to mind how everyone we meet has their own struggles and issues that we are not aware of.

Life’s Stages

Someone precious to me is dying. (Well, aren’t we all.) But he has cancer, Stage 4, and anything from a few months to a few years left.

We first spoke over 30 years ago. In between we would lose contact for years at a time, especially in the pre-internet days. Yet he would welcome me whenever I got back in touch. He is my role model. He showed me how to see, how to think, how to live, and introduced me to books and ideas I never would have found myself.

The final lesson is the hardest of all – how to die.

Have you ever bungee jumped? I haven’t and am too afraid to do so. It seems to me dying is far worse – you don’t get to choose when to jump, you’re pushed. And often there’s no cord to bring you back.

He faces his fears and just carries on working. Like another of my friends, he knows when and where the cancer has spread before the tests show it. He knows better than most what indignities he will suffer when treatment stops working and the disease progresses.

To me, he is extremely brave. To quote Mr Spock, “The purpose (of the test) is to experience fear, fear in the face of certain death, to accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one’s crew.”

Video on Advance Care Planning (ACP)

If you’re wondering what ACP or Advance Care Planning might look like, there is lots of information on the web. But there’s nothing like a story to illustrate it better. Here is a video made in Singapore.

It’s a bit of a tear-jerker, so get your tissues ready if you’re the type.