recap review restart 


I haven’t posted for months though the thought often comes to mind. There’s enough to say but I’m not sure where to start again. So here’s a recap, which is also a summary of sorts for myself. 

Mom has dementia and has lived with me several years. She is increasingly homebound as her energy levels are falling and she walks slowly and carefully. She fills her day scanning through newspapers, watching TV and looking out. Sometimes she packs her “stuff”.

I work so I have a helper in my home who keeps Mom company, looks after her and does much of the housework. Singapore has about 300000 such foreign helpers for a population of just under 6 million – these helpers play a huge role in childcare and eldercare. Without her I wouldn’t be able to manage.

Mom is happy and smiles easily, so we’re lucky in that sense. Does she recognize me? Of course! She knows I’m a loved one who looks after her and lives in the house. But words are confused. Daughter-Sister Son-Husband – she knows which are male and which are female. No need to be 100% accurate, they’re all home characters or frequent visitors who love and care for her. She recognizes and remembers people she often sees even though she cannot name them. 

To everyone else (not so close relatives) she says, “I don’t quite remember you.” It often bothers the others so much more than it bothers her. The older folk will be dismayed and distressed. My younger cousins not so, because they can’t imagine it happening to them. I just tell them she can’t remember you because you look so different now! Mom just carries on, smiling, “I don’t remember. So who are you again? No, I don’t have any recollection.” 

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13 thoughts on “recap review restart ”

  1. My wife’s ability to recognise or recall fluctuates. Some days she knows I’m her husband on others she might think I’m a friend, a care worker or even her dad. The important thing is that she feels safe in my company!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good to hear from you again and catch up on how things are going. My dad took to calling me, and others, Sunshine. At first I thought he was being complimentary but soon realised it was his way of covering up the fact he could no longer remember names. I rather liked being called Sunshine! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So nice to see you in the blog world again! Thanks for sometimes visiting my blog so I know you’re okay. Glad to hear that your mom is doing well. How nice that she’s a happy person in general and you have good help. Blessings on the three of you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yours is a kind, gracious and observant image of your mother. Thanks for the update.
    Weekends must get long.
    My mother needed 24/7 assistance while still in her home. As the caregivers changed shifts, she got more and more confused. Until she could no longer have her home. Best to you and your mother.

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