Dad and Me

My Dad passed on many years ago. I like to think we were alike in many ways, though he might disagree. This post is going to be about the stuff I think I got from my Dad – traits he either passed on genetically or rubbed off via close proximity!

In a previous poem I wrote about how terrified I was by Dad’s night driving. Actually his driving was good, but my vision was poor. I was fearful because I couldn’t see well. In any case, I learnt a great deal about defensive and considerate driving from Dad.

Dad was an independent thinker and never took anything at face value. He always examined underlying facts and made up his own mind. He never just believed what he was told. On bad days, this bordered on paranoia.

Whilst Dad appreciated beautiful artworks, he did not go about acquiring them. He lived and dressed very simply. He was honest, never took what wasn’t his. And couldn’t tolerate those who connived and schemed and stole.

Finally, he understood too well the human condition, and helped those who helped themselves, and sometimes even those who didn’t. He kept much of this secret during his life, and so I am still learning.

If he were still alive today, what would he think about living with dementia? I think he would hate the idea. I’m pretty sure he would instruct me not to prolong his life when the time came. In that way, he would be very different from Mom.

Mom has never acknowledged having dementia, and is contented to be looked after. She looks forward to every new day.


10 thoughts on “Dad and Me”

  1. Honest and tender thoughts on a tough subject. Caring for both types of personalities would be difficult for any care giver or family member. Your mother’s compliance does make it easier on both of you, it seems. Your father would be pleased with your description of him and proud of your discernment.

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  2. My father had vascular dementia and he hated it. He was very aware he was losing his mind and was so desperately unhappy it made it easier to let him go when he died. Strangely though, we became closer during that period of his life than we had ever been before, which is something I treasure. Mum is quite different: like your mother, she doesn’t acknowledge she has dementia and just loves being looked after!!

    Liked by 1 person

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