Driving home one day, I sing along with the male choir on the radio, and as is always the case, I find my eyes tearing with this hymn:-Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me? I once was lost, but now am found; was blind but now I see.
What is it about this verse that moves me ever since I first learnt it more than 30 years ago? Perhaps I identified with being a wretch, and needing to be saved.
Or perhaps it is the second line that drives home the message. Life is about epiphanies, life changing moments and lessons. Always learning anew, reviewing the past through new lenses as we figure things out. Hence we were always lost, always being found or finding ourselves. Always having blind spots, too preoccupied to notice what was really going on around us.
When I was young, I expected my children to grow and mature with every year that passed. Every year brought progress, new interests, a new understanding, a new way of viewing the world. Yet somehow, I never thought the young adult me would change every year too. Looking back, when I was 25, why didn’t I think I would be different at age 30? When 30, why did I expect I would be same at 40? Why do young people get married thinking the marital relationship will remain unchanging?
Every few years, something comes along to shake me up, and I realise I’ve been blind and lost, always realising it in hindsight.
What mistakes am I making today that I will recognise in the years to come? I can’t wait to find out. Meanwhile, I pause whenever I can, think things through, meditate a bit, and look for the truth that speaks to my heart.